I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How does it feel to date your dad?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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