Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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