Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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