Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
