WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
