spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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