i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Boobs speak an international language.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
