i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
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Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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