and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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