i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
