Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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