So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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