apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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