She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize