you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize