Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
