Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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