i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
