that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
