either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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