what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
