I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
