i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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