STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
