You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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