I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
