Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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