VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
