Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
