Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
