i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
