wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize