they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize