I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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