I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
