Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
