just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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