I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
