I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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