i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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