I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
