I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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