It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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