are you so shy because you have an std?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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