sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
