I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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