the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
