i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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