they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
