When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
