like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
