There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Still dying that you shit outside
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
