This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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