Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
