I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
