i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
