its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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