i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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