After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
