? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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