I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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