i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
