My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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